I'm Still Here
by Hitokiri-Sesshomaru
Summary: Inuyasha recollects a painful childhood memory and explains it to Kagome, revealing even more betrayal that he is trying to put behind him. One-shot songfic.


Hiya! It's me! I started this a while back and decided to finish it for some random reason today. It's really angsty. I was listening to 'Four Seasons' when I finished it.I don't remember how I thought of it. I think I was depressed that day. Please review! and by the way,I do own Inuyasha and this song!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!(Evil lawers walk in) or not...hehe.

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He was running as fast as he could, he had to get away. Their cries rang in his ears, and it only pushed him on. His bare feet were numb with cold, and his stomach let out a low rumble. It had been three days since he'd eaten, and he had been running all night. The forest was up ahead, they couldn't catch him in there. He could hear what they said playing over and over in his head. 'It's you're fault she's dead' He sank down behind a nearby rock. "No, it's not." He told himself.

_I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard. Or a moment, that's held in your arms._

He let the tears come. "It's not my fault. Why don't they understand?" Soft footsteps came up behind him. He was yanked to his feet by the wrist. The tears blurred his vision, but he didn't need to see, he already knew who it was. "What are you doing sulking back here?!" He started to shake, not out of the chill of the wind, rather, out of terror.

_And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen anyway. You don't know me, and I'll never be what you want me to be._

The hand gripped tighter, and lifted him off the ground. "No! Let go of me!" he flailed wildly and clawed at the air. He heard the unsheathing of a sword and a gasp escaped his throat. He attempted to look his captor in the face through blurred vision. He gazed up with pleading golden eyes and an innocent face.

_And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy, no, I'm a man. You can't take me, and throw me away._

Moments later he felt cold steel slice across his stomach, and he screamed. He was thrown back against the rock, and pain shot through his entire body. A chuckle reached his ears as the attacker departed, but it hurt too much for him to care. The snow surrounding him was stained a bright crimson. He cautiously lifted his hand from the injury, only to see it covered with his own blood. Clutching his stomach, he slowly lifted his aching body off the ground, knowing if he didn't now, it would be too impossible later.

_And how can you learn what's never shown? Yeah, you stand here on your own. They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here._

His head was spinning as he forced himself up and started walking forward. Not really going anywhere, just trying to keep himself alive. "Oh my god!" He heard a voice and caught a familiar scent, but he could only discern it was a male. "What happened?!" He didn't know which way was up, down, left, or right; everything was a blur. The only definite was that voice. He fell to the ground, barely conscious. "No! You can't die!" He could feel himself being lifted up, and soon the wind blew through his hair, because of the rate he was moving.

_And I want a moment to be real. Want to touch things I don't feel. Wanna hold on, and feel I belong._

He opened his eyes to look at who had just saved his life. "S...Se...Ses......Why?" he said weakly. "Because, I'm not going to let you die by their hands." He responded. "But I still don't get it." He coughed hard and, to his dismay, blood came with it, adding to the stains on both their kimonos. "We're almost there." Soon the slight breeze stopped, and he was taken to the outside of a hut. "What? We're all....all the way in another village?" He started to cough up more blood, and began having trouble breathing. The warmth of a fire hit him, and he closed his eyes. It was a sight that sent chills up everyone's spine in the room. A boy who looked about 14 or so, carrying a child who looked to be about 7, blood everywhere. There was frantic shouting, and a certain amount of chaos. He was laid on a mat and examined immediately. He winced in pain as they removed his hyori to assess the damage. "This doesn't look good." One of them said. "He's not going to die, is he?!" came a familiar voice. "Mother!" he shouted out. "Where are you?!" he started sobbing. He felt a hand brush the hair out of his face. "It'll be ok, don't worry."

_And how can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same. They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here._

"Mother!" He sat up, in a cold sweat, and looked around nervously. A girl came into view. "Inuyasha, are you ok? What is it?!" He brought up his hand and wiped his eyes, trying to hold back tears. "I had a dream. Actually, it was more like a flashback, from years ago, when I was about 7." She looked extremely concerned, and nodded her head, telling him to continue. "There is only one scar on my body, and it runs across here." He traced a line with his hand, from his left to his right side across his stomach at an angle, as if someone had been leaning down and sliced him with a weapon of some sort. "I already know what you're going to ask, so I'll just answer it for you. Like I said before, I was about seven, I had heard rumors of what some of the other villagers were doing, but I didn't want to believe them. She had always been so kind to me..." He sighed deeply. "There was a miko, I don't even remember her name now, that had come to the village.

_And you, see the things they never see. All you wanted---I could be. Now you know me, and I'm not afraid._

"After my mother died, she became like one to me. At one point I hadn't eaten in so long I was about 20 pounds underweight. I was extremely frail and weak, she took me in, and kept me for months, until I was back to normal, and gave me all the food I could eat. But she had me leave, saying that if I stayed I would be killed. I knew it was true, so I turned to other villagers for food. I got nothing, so I went back to stay with her just one more night. It was wonderful, a warm place to sleep, I couldn't have asked for more."

_And I, want to tell you who I am. Can you help me be a man? They can't break me, as long as I know who I am._

"She earned my trust through one thing, she didn't care I was merely half-demon. When I was with her I was treated as a normal human. I never heard a comment about my ears, fangs, or claws. The only this she pointed out were my eyes. She said they were pools of melted gold, as gorgeous as heaven itself. I trusted her with everything, I even loved her. Until one evening, just after dark...." Kagome eyes were glassy as he continued. "I went to her house as usual. She was busying herself with something and when she turned to face me, her eyes were burning like fire, filled with a deep hatred. I heard her yell 'Worthless half-breed! Tonight you perish and burn in the fires of hell!' I was taken aback, and looked at her, my eyes glazed over, almost ready to burst into tears. 'I thought it didn't matter to you. I thought you accepted me for who I was.' A smile of pure malice spread across her face as she looked at me. 'I've hated you since the moment we met! I can't stand you, I'm glad I finally have the chance to do the job I came here for!' I ran, as fast as I could, to get away. I found a rock to hide behind, and sat there. I could hear the other villagers pursuing me. It had snowed, and was bitterly cold. She found me, only moments after I discovered the hiding place and lifted me off the ground by the wrist, probably watching me struggle for her enjoyment. She took a sword and dealt a fatal blow, and then she left me for dead. Looking back I'm not sure how I did it, but I forced myself off the ground and started walking, not really going anywhere, I knew for sure it would be the end if I just sat there."

_And how, can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same. They can't see me, but I'm still here._

Before he could get out any more Kagome threw herself at him and pulled him into and embrace, and the faint scent of salt was in the air. "No! Don't cry Kagome! Please!" She looked up at him and wiped her eyes. "I can't help it. Your life was so terrible. You had no childhood and were betrayed by everyone you loved. It's not fair that so many other people had all that, and you didn't…" He looked at her, his own eyes glazed over. "I'm not worth your tears, don't cry for me." He said, trying to keep his composure. "I don't care how much you think you're worth! What matters is what I think of you." A lump formed in his throat, and he knew to keep himself from breaking down, he had to continue telling the nightmare. "I didn't walk for long before I collapsed. My head was spinning, and I didn't know any direction. I heard a familiar voice. And it wasn't until I was halfway to another village that I even had enough strength to open my eyes. I found out that it was my half brother…He said he wasn't going to let me die by their hands. To this day I still don't know exactly what he meant.

_They can't tell me who to be, 'cause I'm not what they see. Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreamin' for me. And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe._

"I don't know why he saved my life." Kagome looked at him with a 'you don't get it' expression. "He didn't always hate you, Inuyasha." He sighed. "That's a little hard to believe. But it must be true. I almost died that night. He's the only reason I'm alive today." He chuckled a little. "You should have seen how bloody his kimono was, he didn't seem to care though. I heard him keep asking if I was going to be ok. For awhile I was in so much pain, I didn't even want to live. I almost gave up."

_And how, can you say I'll never change? They're the ones that stay the same. I'm the one now, 'cause I'm still here._

"I stayed in that hut for weeks. You should have seen the look on his face when I got up one morning and came to breakfast. There was a tub of water that hadn't been heated up yet, and he sure wasn't paying attention, too busy eating, so I dumped it over his head. He got so mad, who he thought it was I'm not sure, and threw the empty pot behind himin my direction. He didn't even bother to look back and see who it was. So it took him completely by surprise when I said, 'Good morning to you too.'. He was so surprised. I wish he would show that much emotion more often. Sesshomaru got up, and actually hugged me." Kagome was smiling now. "It sounds like you two used to be close. What happened?" Inuyasha sighed. "That, Kagome, is another story."

_I'm the one, 'cause I'm still here. _


End file.
